Readers Rants and Raves: No Avocados for You! A tale of irrational rationing
The following is an account from a reader. If you have a disappointing (or awesome!) experience in SGF, let us know and it may get published (if it’s within reason – no line crossing, folks!). Email your experience to Brett@TAGSGF.com.
One SGF Super Bowl party went without guacamole, because of a confusing ALDI avocado ration.
By Katie Dillman
Time: afternoon Saturday Feb 6th
Place: Nazi Germany…or the north side ALDI..they are hard to distinguish
Mission: Secure avocados with intent to distribute in the form of guacamole for Super Bowl Party
Characters in this story include: The Victim (myself) and The Veggie Gestapo (cashier)
Introduction:
The Victim enters the store with her eyes on the prize. Chips, Avocados, Checkout,….no nonsense, no browsing! In one swift motion The Victim secures 2 bags of chips and makes a B-Line for produce. Avocados abound. The Victim seizes four in hopes of making a reasonably sized batch of guac along with red onion and a lime.
The Showdown:
The Victim arrives at register. The cashier rings up the chips, onions, and lime then violently removes all put one of the avocados from the produce bag.
Veggie Gestapo: (with an obvious sense of entitlement) I’m only gonna sell you one of these. (without pause, totals my purchase and moves on as if this is normal and there is not to be any discussion on the matter)
The Victim: WHAT??!! (with extreme confusion…but not yet defensive)
Veggie Gestapo: (offers no explanation)
The Victim: Ummm….sorry…..I’m confused. Why can I only have one avocado?
Veggie Gestapo: We have to have enough for everybody. (clearly she still thinks this unwarranted veggie rationing is a normal thing to do)
The Victim: oooookay……well I’m needing to make guacamole, so I can’t really do that with one avocado.
Veggie Gestapo: Well there’s a limit of one per person per day, so you can come back and get another one tomorrow but we have to have enough for everyone to have one today.
The Victim: (still incredibly perplexed) Well why do you care who buys them? What am I going to do with one avocado?
Veggie Gestapo: (glares at victim like its not her problem and continues to hoard the produce)
The Victim: ok…….ummmmm well I don’t really need any of the other stuff if I can’t get avocados, so I guess just void the sale.
Veggie Gestopo: Great (with a snide fake smile and pushes everything off the conveyer belt) Next!
Victim leaves Aldi’s empty handed and confused wondering when the communists infiltrated the discount super market circuit.
Postlude:
The Victim goes to Superbowl Party empty handed. Every person there asks where the guac is……Damn ALDI.
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